Some are silver, others gold

Post 25 - Girlfriends

Friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they're always there."

I consider myself incredibly fortunate when it comes to the friendships I have shared over the years. I have had the same BFF for 92.5% of my life. Even though we have lived thousands of kilometres apart for more than 25 years, she is always in my thoughts and heart. That is not to say there haven' t been times in that 35+ years when weeks go by without communication, there have been. Or that we haven't missed any of the major milestones in each other lives, we have. But regardless of time or event gone by, I know that she is there with me, and vise versa.

I have other friends with whom I am extremely close, and not quite sure how that happened (but am so very thankful that it did). For anyone who knows me (really knows me) understands that I am not someone who lets other people "in" easily. That isn't to say that I have been call aloof or stand-offish (at least not to my face), it is just that, well honestly I don't know why that is, it just is. But there are a couple of people who have penetrated that outer shell, and for that I am thankful.

These "surprise" friendships have added a lot to my life. Fun. Perspective. Excitement. Support. Reality checks. And luckily for me, other friends.

One particular group, who interestingly enough I went to high school (all) and university (all but 1) with, but didn't really get to know until the connector of our group was getting married. Twelve years later, five marriages, 12 kids, a few house moves, one divorce, several pets and an engagement later, we are still going strong, and I dare say, getting stronger with each passing year. I am honoured to be counted as one of group.

So for everyone who has even one close girl friend, and I mean relationship close, not geographic proximity close (that is just a bonus), be thankful, because they are the sisters that fate gave you, and should be cherished for the gift that they are.

Giving more than money

Post 24 - Connecting with those less fortunate

It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it." Albert Einstein

So yesterday the Prescient team headed out on its 2nd volunteering expedition at Evergreen Youth Mission.  Our offering for the day was to prep and serve dinner to youths (16 - 25) who, for many different reasons, are in need of a safe place to go, and a free meal.

Vlad, who runs the meal program at the facility, put us to work pulling together a meal that I may have to copy for my own family; it certainly wasn't the menu I was expecting. All of our chopping of fresh fruits (7 in all) and veggies, baking of whole grain rice and basting of chicken resulted in a menu offering of; lemon/garlic baked chicken, herbed (with fresh herbs) rice, sauteed veggies, mixed green salad for dinner, and fresh fruit salad for dessert.

Not what you would expect (at least it wasn't what I was expecting) at a facility that has been around since the early 1900's (Evergreen has been around since 1896), and which hosted more than 185,000 visits to their programs and services from more than 18,000 individuals. Very impressive.

I am very grateful that the company I work for, and the individuals I work with, all believe in giving back to the community in which we live and work. It was a great experience, and I would happily go back and voluneer at YSM again. (Although next time I think Catherine and I will go a bit early and churn out some baked goods to go along with all that healthy stuff. :)

Its okay to change the plan ... right?

Day 23 - Flexibility (and not the toe touching kind)

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." John Lennon

So while I am someone who more often adheres to such adages as "A failure to plan is a plan to fail." and "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." than the Lennon quote above, I do see (now) that there is a balance to be found between the two perspectives.

I will likely always be more inclined to set out a plan (I love lists) for my day/week ahead, whether it be completing work related tasks, or making sure that there are ample supplies in the fridge/pantry for the upcoming week's meals, or even sussing out possible activities for the kids on the weekends so that I am at least somewhat prepared for the inevitable question of "what can I/we do now?" that surfaces at least once each Saturday and Sunday. I don't see that as a bad thing (no A-type would), or that I am missing out on life during those times of planning. But as time ticks on (faster and faster it seems) I am more able to let things happen as they may, and accept the other perspective of "let's see what happens" more often, finding that flexibility (even if I never will be able to touch my toes) that helps ensure I don't miss those amazing moments of spontenaiety that people call Life.

Mum still rocks.

Day 21 - Still the apple in my son's eye.

Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged.” Louisa May-Alcott

Many people told me (after I had our son) that I would never know another relationship quite like the one a mother shares with her son. Mothers and daughters are close; they share "the girl thing", but the bond that forms between mother and son is something very few can come between.

Now back then I thought these people were all a little whacked. Seriously; how could a mother/child connection be that different simply based on the sex of the child. Sure there would be difference based on personality types, interests (as the child grew older), and the usual day to day stuff. But a bond, that strong of a bond, established simply because the child is a boy. Yeah, whatever!

But you know what, it is true.

Now let me set the record straight; I, without equivocation, deliberation or contemplation, love my children, both by children with all my heart. That is not to say there are days I don't LIKE one or both of them very much because of a rare, but intense, situation at hand. But today, as J curled up on my lap to snuggle, and how I, yes me, was able to flip his mood from sour puss to happy-go-lucky, made me realise that we have something just a little bit different than the dynamic I have with E. Not better. Not stronger. Not anything that I can put my finger on. But it is there.

Now whether that is because he is my "baby" (I can hear him groaning as I type that) or because he is my baby boy, I can't say for sure. But today I felt what all those people were telling me about and it made me sigh; a very deep, long, happy sigh. Thanks J.

Proud to be Canadian

Day 20 - Haitians still need our help

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back.”

Well done fellow Canadians! Last night's Canada for Haiti/Ensemble Pour Haiti telethons raised $16 million dollars, not including the funds that the Canadian government will kick in as part of their dollar for dollar matching program.

The money raised during the telethon will be distributed equally among a coalition of nine large Canadian non-governmental organizations — including World Vision Canada, Canadian Red Cross Society, UNICEF Canada, Oxfam Canada and Save the Children Canada — with the funds exclusively earmarked for Haiti.

If you haven't yet reached out to help Haiti, or are ready to contribute a little bit more (take your lunch/coffee to work for day/week/month and give that $5 or $25 or $100 to those who have been left with nothing.  No amount is too small (just remember most charities only provide donation reciepts for $10 or more).

The Canadian telethon number is open 1-877-51HAITI (42484) or you can give online at canadaforhaiti.com.  For more dontation options, check out my blog post for Day 12 for a list of recognized Canadian charities, or check our the complete list of registered Canadian charities.

It is said with good intentions

Day 19 – Being able to accept help, even when unsolicited

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught." W. Churchill

Everyone excels at something; sports, cooking, writing, gardening, model plane building, sleeping ... there is always something we do well. So well that sometimes people ask us for our help or assistance as they tackle said area of expertise. On the flip side of that, there are areas in each of our lives, whether it is something we have toiling at for decades or a new endeavour we have just jumped into, that we are in need of more guidance and council then the previously mentioned activity group. And it is here where we often become the recipient of advice of others. Sometimes solicited; sometimes not.

For me, my most recent new arena, literally, is hockey. Now like many Canadians, I had skates laced onto my feet at an early age (even though my parents are not skaters). Being a girl child growing up in Quebec that meant that I either figure skated or played ringette (ring-what? some of you are saying –picture hockey with a large rubber ring instead of a puck, and sticks with no blades). I figure skated. That is not to say that hockey is foreign to me. Played street hockey with the boys in my neighbourhood, and spending my formative years in Montreal turned me into a Habs fan (much to the dismay of my son who has taken to the dark side of cheering for the ever faltering Maple Leafs. Sigh.) So I really like hockey.

Many would start with a skills class or clinic. I am not many. I jumped whole hog into the sport forking out way too much for hockey equipment (how do parents with multiple kids playing afford it!) and joining a great women’s league.
Now as far as my team’s skills go, we range from novice (is there a term for a lower skills level?) to very good. I fall somewhere in the mid-bottom range of that scale (being a proficient skater, both forwards and backwards, helps my rating) so I am very open to suggestions on how I can improve my game. And lucky for me there are a couple of team mates who are more than willing, quite eager actually, to offer up that needed advice throughout the game.

For me, this is okay. For others, a continuous, unsolicited, reeling of “do this”, “go there”, “good girl” (gotta admit, that last one bugs me a bit), is enough to push them to the border of breeching our league’s non-contact rule.
So I am thankful that I am able to accept the counsel of others as it is meant; helpful. And that as long as there aren’t too many “good girls” or “dears” thrown into the mix (and yes, this advice is coming from other women around my age), then I won’t have to worry about chalking up too many penalty minutes checking my own team mates into the boards.

It's all in the follow through

Day 18 Gratitude - The ability to follow through

A six-word formula for success:

Think things through - then follow through”

So simple, yet apparently difficult to execute.

One of the principal rules of good project management is to deliver what you promise. Nothing more. Nothing less. Today,many people/companies/products miss the mark on this, on both the under and over side of the equation. I think if we simply, and honestly, committed to things we are confident we can achieve/perform/deliver then life would be simpler all the way around.

That is not to say that we shouldn’t look to broaden our skill sets or be innovative, quite the contrary. I am not advocating to sticking to what you know (oh, that would be good topic for another day), how boring would that be. But in a world where we are bombarded with promises in every shape and form, of which very few are delivered upon, it would be a welcomed relief (at least by this blogger) to get what I was promised; what I expected. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Not my kids; at least not yet

Day 17 Gratitude - Kids access to social media still under our thumb (sort of)

The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate. J.Priestly

The NYT posted an article today (thanks JM for sharing) about how a recent study that kids between the ages 8 to 18 spend more than seven and a half hours a day (that is 53 hours a week)on media related devices (smart phone, TV, computer - you get the picture). And because of this groups apparent ability and innate need to multitask (and we wonder why so may kids are thought to have ADD), this number actually extrapolates to a whopping 11 hours a day!

Add in the hours in a day they can't use their devices; six school hours (that excludes lunch hour), and eight hours for sleeping - do the math - it adds up to 25 hours a day! So this age group would have to be texting or on FB or tweeting while they sleep to squeeze it all in. So where do home work, extracurricular activities and part time jobs fit into the mix? Man, no wonder kids today are so tired.

In our house this is not yet a reality. A bit on the stringent side of the coin, E&J get no screen time (defined as TV, computer, DS, PS3, Wii) during the week once breakfast has been consumed (TV before brekkie was reinstituted after we realised our youngest in definitely NOT a morning person and the world of difference - for the better - 15 minutes of TV makes to allow him to wake up a bit before having to interact with the rest of the world) or on weekends between breakfast and dinner. Be it good or bad, thems the rules. (Of course rules were meant to be broken and when G&I need to get something done a movie has been known to spontaneously start on the TV or the Wii/PS3 activated.)

Yes I know, the time is coming where this won't be the case, and we will have to ease up on the electronic lock down. But, for now, I am grateful that what is the daily average for kids in the Kaiser Family Foundation study, is more than our kids average weekly screen time total, and, for the most part, our kids are OK with that.

Never say never, cause you never know

Day 16 Gratitude - The gift of prose

Both my Mum and my sister have Sarah Ban Breathnach's book; Simple abundance: a daybook of comfort and joy. They have been reading, and promoting it for years. "Not for me" I always said to myself every time I saw the book or was encouraged to pick it up. Who knew? I came across the following quote by Ms. Ban Breathnach's and it pretty much sums up what this blog is all about.

So enjoy this brief prose (while I go eat some crow).

You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.”

And I hope it comes true for me (feel free to let me know come Spring if you think it has).

The nectar of life

Day 15 Gratitude – Access to fresh, clean water

In 1993 National Geographic wrote;

All the water that will ever be is, right now.

Which, when you think about the fact that;

• 71% of earth is covered in water.
• One in six people do not have access to a clean/safe water source.
• The world’s population grew by 77 million people in 2009.

That means that 12.3 million more people are without water today than this time last year. Very scary.

So why all the doom-and-gloom about water you ask?

Well I was trying to figure out a way to convey to my kids, once again, how important it is not to waste water. I thought if I could quantify it for them (big numbers seem to hit home with J), it might be the thing that finally gets them to turn the tap off while they brush their teeth or wash their face. But I then I thought these numbers might be a bit much for them.

So I asked them to tell me something they thought didn’t need water (either to stay alive or be produced). They eliminated the obvious; plants, food, people, animals, fish, trees ... But then came the more abstract; Paper? Cars? Plastic? When I explained to them that EVERYTHING relies on water at some point, it started to sink in I think. Then E brought up that people in Haiti didn’t have any water; did that mean they were going to die? I was honest; said yes, some would die partially because of a lack of water. That made both of them quiet. Had I gone too far? Were we in for an evening of nightmares?

Nope.

What happened next was J telling E that she didn’t need to fill a cup with water for brushing her teeth, she could share his.

Lions and tigers and oranutangs

Day 14 Gratitude – World class zoo in my backyard; well almost

From Dr. Seuss' "If I ran the zoo"

My new zoo, McGrew zoo, will make people talk.
My new zoo, McGrew zoo, will make people gawk.

Taking advantage of the plus 1 degree warm weather (that is 32 degrees for my US readers) G and the kids made the short trip to spend the afternoon at to the Toronto zoo while I stayed at home and sloshed my way through two gallons (that is 9.5 litres for us Canadians) of paint fixing up the basement walls.

Now we are no strangers to the zoo (please try and restrain yourselves from too many comments), and have be members (not residents) since E was a baby and have found that visiting in the winter months is great as the animals are much more active than they are in the hot summer months, and there are no crowds to deal with.

Today the kids came back more animated as usual and could barely contain themselves while trying to tell me, talking over each other as they spoke, about the baby orangutan they had seen today. They chatted on for a good five minutes about this cute primate. When I asked what else they saw they each names several animals; arctic wolf, polar bears, spectacled cobra, Siberian tiger, snowy owl (just like Hedwig from Harry Potter E reminded me), and did I mention the orangutans. It occurred to me how great it is that my kids get to see and learn about more animals first hand than the raccoons and rabbits that frequent our yard. I am sure when I was five I didn’t know that orangutans stayed with their mother for seven years, or that like humans they have a set of 32 teeth only with two much larger point (canine) teeth. Things a five year old can say that make you go “Huh”.
So I am grateful to have such an entertaining and educational resource almost in my back yard, and that it offers up something different each time we go.

Yin and Yang; not sure which on I am.

Day 13 Gratitude - A husband who shares the load (and not just laundry).

"Without the two there cannot be the One."

Chang Tsai, (1020-1078)

Who ever said that a marriage was 50/50 situation has never been married. I have yet to see an coupledom relationship where everything balances out in the end in each half of the partnership doing half the work, taking care of half the responsibilities, or contributing half the effort to whatever task is at hand.

And I am not saying that it is always the same partner on the upside of this imbalance. Such is the case in our house. While I manage/arrange/schedule (whatever the correct word it) much of what happens at Casa McKnight, my better half is always there when I need him (even before he is asked a lot of the time). There are many days, particularly in support of my work, where he carries more than his share. Whether it is solo-parenting while I jet off for client work, or tackling projects that usually start with the me saying "So honey, I was thinking" or "What do you think about (fill in DIY project details here)", G is there, ready, able, and most of the time willing without too much coersion, to share the load.

So while the nature of our individual personalities create a balanced yin and yang home atmosphere, I am very thankful that whether it is doing the laundry, cooking dinner, or signing on for another one of my "brilliant ideas" my husband is always there, by my side, sharing the load.

Please support Haiti

Day 12 Gratitude - Ability to give

With all that is news reports streaming in from Haiti, I am particularly happy that the part of Canada I live in is relatively safe from the catastrophic affects of rapid onset geological natural disasters. And thankful that our family is able to donate towards the Haiti earthquake relief effort.

So today, rather than posting a stream of consciousness that centres on me, I ask that you take the time you would have dedicated to reading my blog (several times no doubt :), posting comments and forwarding the link to all your friends and family, and redirect it to the website of the support organisation of your choice, and make donation to their Haiti relief fund. For every eligible dollar donated by individual Canadians, the Government of Canada will contribute one dollar to the Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund, up to a total of $50 million. So your financial support is doubly important.

Here are a just a few sites that you can go to in order to lend your support to the Haitians affected by this disaster. Charities are also taking donations via telephone, text message and email.

Before making a donation, please check to make sure it is a registered charity via teh CRA’s online database of registered charities. (All sites below are registered Canadian charities.)

Information on the CIDA Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund

Canadian Red Cross - The Canadian Red Cross sent $200,000 immediately to support emergency relief efforts on the ground and is on standby to provide additional emergency assistance.

UNICEF Canada - An income tax receipt will be issued for all donations $25 or more. For donations less than $25, receipts will be issued upon request.

United Nations World Food Programme

Médecins Sans Frontières Canada/Doctors Without Borders is setting up clinics to replace damaged medical facilities in Haiti.

World Vision is preparing to distribute emergency supplies to those affected by the earthquake.

Oxfam Canada is taking donations for the Humanitarian Coalition Appeal For Haiti.

Health Partners International of Canada is supplying medical aid.

The Humanitarian Coalition — Care/Oxfam Canada/Oxfam Quebec/Save the Children. In collaboration with a number of organizations

Atchoo! Gadzundheit.

Day 11 Gratitude - Good health (even when I am sick)

After a week of having a cold that has sapped my energy, given me a non-stop headache, and annoyed me (and those around me) with a hacking cough I am glad to say I am on the mend. This little bit of whinging aside; I am generally a healthy individual. I rarely catch what the kids bring home, stomach bugs rarely grab a hold of me even if they sweep through everyone else in the house (including the dogs), and it is uncommon that I miss anything (work, kids’ events, social commitments) due to any kind of ailment. And for that I am very grateful.

Now this amazing fortitude came to me later in life. As a kid, as my mother is apt to remind me, it seems like I was often sick. From simple sniffles to almost annual bouts of bronchitis and the occasional case of pneumonia, ask anyone in my family, it was I who was the germ magnet. My sister on the other hand was the opposite, she, again, according to our family’s almanac (aka: my mother), never missed a day of school because of being sick. That is not to say I missed much school on this account either because in our house you had to be puking up an internal organ or have a fever hot enough to fry an egg on your forehead before permission was given to stay home; tough love apparently is the best way to build immunity. :) (A philosophy I find myself following with my own kids sometimes.)

But this is contrary to today’s rules. (And kids seem to be sick more often today than they were back when I was in school.)The expectation today, be it right, wrong, or more likely, somewhere in between, if your kid even so much as sniffles you are expected to keep them home; triple dose them with Echinacea, vitamin C and TLC’ and sterilizing every surface they come in even close contact with. I say nay. I adhere more to the “Everyone will eat a peck of dirt before they die” philosophy, and what does't kill you makes you stronger.

So while I digressed from today’s gratitude a little bit (I like to think of it as a detour rather than departure), I come back to reiterate that I am truly thankful for my health, and the good health of my family and friends. And wish everyone reading my blog a very healthy (and thankful) 2010.

More reliable than the postal service

Day 10 Gratitude - Friends Part 1 - My running buddy  

 There are not many people who opt to get out of bed on a cold Canadian winter morning before 5 am by choice. Even fewer of those people who willingly, albeit begrudgingly sometimes, then put on the corresponding requisite number of layers of clothing to the number of degrees below zero it is outside (windshield factored in exponentially), then lace up their running shoes and meet you at the designated corner to get in a few miles before the rest of the (sane) world wakes up.

I am extremely fortunate, and grateful, to have such a friend. We are well into our second decade of running together, and have run through it all; hail, snow, sleet, rain, blistering heat, mind numbing cold, marriage, pregnancies (5 between us), 3 puppies, illness, death of loved ones, good times, challenging times. I dare say there hasn't been a topic we haven't covered (much to the chagrin of our husbands) during the thousands of kilometres we have run.

So for her friendship, encouragement, egging on (in a good kind of way) and for always being at the same bat corners at the same bat time, every time, I am truly grateful for my running buddy.

Thanks P!

Home is where the dog hair lies

Day 9 Gratitude - Pets

We are a family that loves animals. We have two labs, a bunch of fish and the occasional extra four legged freind sourced from dog sitting for a friend or a stray that followed me home (I seem to be a magnet for that kind of thing). Each has their own personality and contibute more than their share of love and companionship to our home. Our girls are also very protective of their "people". More than once our labs have demonstrated valour and bravery (at least in their own minds) when it came to a dodgy character (never trust a man in a green parka, orange mitts and red hat) or situation (isn't that raft a little far from the shore to be swimming to it).

A pet's protective nature must be internalized very quickly. Case in point; Angel, the golden retreiver puppy out in BC who took on a cougar to save her "boy". At only eighteen months her instinct and loyalty was honed enough that even before the cat showed up, she stuck close to her human companion and then protected him without hesistation when the earlier perceived threat materialized. Amazing.

Now I am not sure our girls would jump into a cat fight (literally) with a cougar (thankfully the GTA is not known for its big cat sightings), but I know I feel better when they are with the kids at the park, or beach, or forest for the extra sets of eyes and their ability to sound a warning if something isn't quite right.

There ain't no flies on us!

Day 8 Gratitude - Summer Camp

Everyone once in a while, or sometimes more frequently, I have an "ah-ha" moment on just how great my parents were when I was growning up. Now don't get me wrong, I have many "Aargghhhg" and "I still can't believie they said/did that" moments as well; my parents were far from perfect. But they did a lot of things right. Sending me away at the tender age of seven for two weeks of sleep away camp was one of those "great" things. (Although I still wonder why they sent me away and never my older sister? Something for another blog.)

As we all settle into winter's drafty, cold, dull, blustery days many parents who work out of the home are already thinking about summer. And when we think about summer, we think about school being out. And with no school, that means we need to figure out what we are going to do to make sure our kids have tons of fun and are so exhausted by the end of the day they don't complain about going to bed when the sun is still up. In our house that means summer camp. Our eldest, at my vehement encouragement, and reluctant enthusiasm of her Dad, is taking the plunge into the foray of summer camp. At this point I amWAY more excited about it than she it, but I am confident she will get there; even if it is two days after she actually gets to camp.

Am I living vicariosly though my daughter; absolutely. Some of my best memories of all time between the ages of seven and 16 are from summer camp. The four or six weeks I spent at Kamp Kanawana in the Quebec Laurentiens each of those summers taught me so many things while I was there, and even more now that I look back. Camp is definitely one of THE most defining factors of my life. That experience is something I thank my parents for often, and am grateful that we are in a position to be able to extend the same opportunity to our kids.

So while E won't be caring on as the fourth generation of my family to go to Kanawana, I have no doubt (even though she has hers) that her time at sleep away camp this summer will be as smooth as a J-stroke on a calm lake in the early mist of summer's morning, and that it will be the first of her many summers of great sleep away camp experiences.

Fleece, it will warm your heart (or any other body part)

Day 7 Gratitude - Fleece

What else do I need to say. Fleece; be it technical micro fleece, or puffy, fluffy, tuffy, soft polar fleece, or just plain old, run of the mill, general fleece; whether it is made from scratch or recycled water bottles ... Fleece rocks! I would challenge anyone to convince me otherwise.

Still you are asking why fleece is so great? Well, 

• It doesn't go all pilly,
• Even an inexpensive fleece can be super comfortable and cosy,
• You can wash it a million times and it doesn't lose its shape,
• It doesn't keep the stink if you happen to sweat in it ... a lot!,
• You can find it in all sorts of colours, weights and forms (you have got to try fleece socks),
• Even the messiest kid would have a hard time staining it,
• It dries pretty quickly if say you get tossed in a pool unexpectedly, and on that note,
• It is resistant to chlorine. So even if you do get thrown in a pool wearing your favourite fleece, it won't get wrecked.

And most important, did I mention how warm and comfy it is.

If you are wondering where this need to extol the virtues of a common material came from ... you guessed it, a long run this morning (early this morning) in minus 18 degree weather ... Yep, thank goodness for fleece. :)

Niagara Falls - truly a wonder

Day 6 Gratitude - Mother Nature (part 1)

As my freinds, family and faithful readers (all four of you) know, I am a huge fan of the outdoors. Doesn't matter to me if it is going for a run at 5 am on a cold winter's weekday morning, or lazed out on a dock on the skirts of Lake Mississauga with a bevvie closed at hand, or suffering throught the rain we alwasy seem to get on our annual camping trip to Arrowhead provincial park - I love it all. But admit I sometimes take it for granted.

Today I was given a reminder in humility with a sight of Niagara Falls. Breath taking. The kids were even wow'd enough to forget they were cold and hungry. Sun shining. Mist billowing. Rainbow shining brightly. Crystal covered branches. Winter scenes just don't get much better than this.

So today I am thankful to be so lucky to live a stone's throw away from one of the natural wonders of the world.

Great Wolf what! Not again.

Day 5 Gratitude - Kids (part 1)

Big, little, or anywhere in between, kids can help you put perspective on things.

So, on occasion, I have been called practical, sensible, pragmatic, well you get the picture. I take these as compliments (I am sure that is how they were intended :). But living a practical life (sounds like a reality show) sometimes means I can overlook an opportunity to have fun that is not within the confines of the GTA. Now I want to be clear I have never been called a party pooper or boring (at least not to my face); I can have fun just as much as the next A-Type professional project manager.

Case in point; today we are all enjoying the fun of Great Wolf Lodge. Not a place I personally would opt to go to (staying at a hotel when I don't have to never really occurs to me as fun - curse of travelling a lot), but when you have kids, the places you end up are often not places we would have at the top of our Bucket List destination entries. But seeing our two run around, in and out of water geysers, speeding down water slide tubes, dumping buckets of water on unsuspecting passersby makes you realise that kids are all about fun. And their essence of fun is contagious.

So while my lips turned blue and I lost feeling in all my extremities, I am smiling while I shiver. The two hour drive in the snow; misguiding GPS, and lack of non-fast food food options - it was all worth it to see the look on E's face as she came screaming down the Niagara Rapids Run or J's smile as he surfed the waves in Rainbow Lake. And the grandfather looking a little pale at the bottom of the Woolly Mammoth gave me a great idea ... next time my parents can bring the kids, and I and G can do something more practical, like watch a marathon session of Monty Python movies. :)

If nothing changes, nothing changes

Day 4 Gratitude - Ability to adapt & change

My Mum is the source of today's posting title. It is something she has envoked to me on many an occasion (usually when I am bi***ing or complaining about something). What this has helped me understand over the years (see Mum, I was listening) is that there really is very little in your own world that you cannot affect.

Aldous Huxley, a pacifist, humanist, and writer said:

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

This really captures my own quest for 2010.

In many facets of my life I am in the continuous pursuit of improvement; better life (health, education, fun ...) for my family, increase in my own skill set at work (writing, project management, knowledge) to my more personal pursuits of overall fitness (running, yoga, nutrition) and general pastimes (photography, gardening, home renovations). In these pursuits I often, as I think a lot of us do, look to outside sources and materials to affect the improvement. Whether it is buying the latest gadget be it a gardening tool, the latest running technical gear, or most up to date SLR camera, or subscribing to the litany of self-help/teaching magazines, RSS feeds or journals, where I think we really need to start is with what we have at that moment; ourselves.

Start with a recognition that if we truly work with the gifts (patience, time, health, intellegience, strength, will, ...) we are all given to improve at something; whether it is something that comes easily, or something that we have to work at to even achieve a modicum of mediocrity, giving ourselves the permission to try and fail, and then try again adapting the next attempt from what we learned the first, second, third, .... time, then that is one of the best lessons we can learn.

So that is why I will encourage my children to stick with something they enjoy, no matter how tough it gets. And why I will continue to get up early on the weekends to sweat it out doing downward dogs and hill repeats. Because I recognise that when I stop paying attention in equal measure to my successes and failures that this is when my corner of the universe will stop improving.

It's not just about giving.

Day 3 Gratitude - Ability to give and receive graciously

So in giving a gift, is it all about the intended recipient, or is it about the giver as well?

A gift, whether for a formal event such as birthdays or anniversaries, or in recognition of a special occasion such as a wedding, birth or achievement, or simply because you were thinking of someone and wanted to do something nice just cause, is the gift really just for the recipient or is the act of giving part of the whole "feel good" package? And is it the recipient's responsibility to ensure that the gift giver gets their owed "warm & fuzzies"?

Nay I say. The thought (and follow through) of the giving on the part of the giver (sounds a bit like a riddle) in itself should be suffice. To expect, and want, and need, a lavishing of praise and thanks from the receiver to get your own quotient of feel-good feelings says something about you and the nature of the act. Whether the gift is received with whole-hearted thanks, or greeted with more of a "Gee, thanks?" the fact that you took the time, thought and effort (not sure if re-gifting from the basement grab bag at the last minute counts) should be enough.

That being said, the gift receiver, if truly living a philosophy of Gratitude, should be able, regardless of the gift and how close (or off) the mark it hits personally, to give back to the sender a genuine thanks, if not for the gift itself (really, does anybody actually like smelling like a basket of fruit?), but for the kindness in deed it represents.
So the next time you Aunt Marge sends a set of placemats made from old shoe laces, or your significant other brings home a bunch of carnations (note to all men - wild flowers, roses, gerberas = more brownie points than carnations unless of course your better half has explicitly expressed an admiration for carnations), be sure and pen a heartfelt Thank-you card (a topic for another day) to Aunt Marge, or plant a big kiss on your other half in recognition of their thoughtfulness and be truly grateful that someone cared enough about you to think of you.

PS: And don't bury AM's placemats too deep in the basement, you want to be able to pull them out in time for her next visit. :)

Addressing the obvious

Day 2 Gratitude - My Life

As things go, I have it pretty good; a loving, supportive and healthy family, great friends, a comfortable home, good job, food in the fridge, clothes on my back ... and the list goes on. So right off the bat, this is an obvious choice for a gratitude.

JFK once said:

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

This to me encapsulates what most of us need to work on (myself included). There are always going to the Jones, Smiths, ... that have a bigger flat screen TV, newer vehicle, better (insert item of envy here) than you have. That is life; get over it already. I can't just sit and write a few hundred words each day and then be able to label myself as a truly grateful individual. To earn that title, we all have to walk the talk and invoke actions of gratitude everyday. And the funny thing is, is that it is usually the little things often make the big impression; holding the door for someone, saying bless you/Gadzundheit, even smiling at a stranger can make that person's day a whole lot brighter.

So today, as I take stock in my life, and all that I have to be grateful for in it, I challenge you to do the same and make somebody else life a little bit better by expressing your gratitude in a random act of kindness.

So much to be thankful for ... where do I start?

Day 1 Gratitude - Freedom

It may sound cliche, okay, it definitely sounds cliche, but the fact that I can decide on my way home from work to start a blog that could reach thousands, or even millions of readers (although I would be happy with just more than my sister and dogs reading on a even semi-regular basis) is truly amazing. That my country offers me the freedom to speak my mind, even in run-on sentences, without any kind of policing (grammar or otherwise) should not be taken for granted. (Imagine "O Canada" playing softly in the background?)

That is why, as I crept along the 401 (all you GTA'ers can relate) listening to the news, I decided to give myself more purpose and take up a four-days-after new year's resolution (and I NEVER make resolutions) which is to;

• Focus on the positive,
• Not say anything if I can't say something nice,
• Be thankful for what I have,
• Make my own destiny,
• .... you get the picture.

So for the next 364 days, I will be diligently working to integrate an Attitude of Gratitude into my daily practices. Whether it is running on a particularly cold Canadian winter day at 5 am, volunteering at my children's schools, or stuck on the DVP in rush hour traffic; I will find something to be truly thankful for everyday.

And if only one person reads this for the whole year, and it makes their day even a little brighter, then I will be thankful that too.