So much for the 10,000-Hour Rule

Practice isn't the thing you do once you're good. It's the thing you do that makes you good.” ~Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell is a great book. Loved it. Loved the writing style, premise, examples, etc. Just plain loved the book. That being said, there is at least one "skill" where the 10,000 hour rule clearly does not apply - parenting. And I am reminded of that on an almost daily basis. 

For those of you who have read the  book and are a parent, I am sure you can relate - and if you can't - well then you should write a book to let the rest of in on your secret.

Overall I think I do an OK job as a mom. Not the best, certainly, not the worst - most days I say I hold my own, but would NEVER claim to be an expert even though I have been a parent for approximately  99280 hours (give or take a few hours), so almost ten times the hours (not includeing the additional ~72330 additional hours for which I was parenting two kids) that Gladwell claims one needs to become an expert. 

So where did I go wrong?

Is it that the skills for being a good parent change as the kids grow, so that you are are not accumulating the number of hours in one particular practice area of parenting to earn that "expert" status? Or perhaps it because, as in my case, I have only been 'actively' parenting my kids for closer to 31000 hours when you take away time they are at school, asleep, at extracurricular activities, etc. Still, 31000 hours is a lot of time dont'cha think? So why is it that at least on a weekly basis I find myself wondering 'how could I have handled that better' or 'why don't I understand E/J better'? Again, if you have the answer - please share it with the rest of us fledgeling parental units.

I will continue on my quest for excellence in the parenting realm, understanding fully that while Outliers is a great read (as are some of Mr. Gladwell's other books) it just doesn't hold water when it comes to raising kids.

My money is on Karma

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ~Nelson Mandela

Glass half full.
Look on the bright side.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Rainbows need rain first.
Give and ye shall receive.
And my personal favourite ... Karma can run over any dogma.

Clearly there have been a lot of positive thinkers and doers (I could have filled pages and pages with positive, catchy, one liners) throughout the ages, so why is it that it is so easy for most of us to fall into "negative Nelly" mode and then proceed to bring anyone we can down to the depths with us? This truly is a million dollar question - figure out the answer, and I mean the REAL answer; an answer that you can test, prove, teach, repeat, etc.. and you will see the world on someone else's dollar as companies, sports teams, governments, ... pay for you to extol your wisdom and knowledge to their masses. (Not a bad gig if you can get it.)

Until then we all have to master our own internal nay-sayer a little bit at a time. So go ahead and treat yourself, or better yet your team/family/co-workers to some "positive cake". Share the cake, savour the richness and associate its gooey goodness with a positive attitude and then anytime you start (overtly) steppign over to the dark side remember the cake, and how good it was, and how "happy" you were eating it (before you started counting calories and fat grams) and channel that positivity to help you ...

See the glass half full; Look on the bright side; Realise every cloud has a silver lining, and ultimately that unless you adopt a more positive perspective your karma is going to run right over your dogma's a**. :)

So much to do, so little time

Ever have that feeling that no matter what you do, how hard you try, or which direction you move, that you just aren't moving forward? That as soon as you cross something off the To Do list, two more things have magically appeared to take its place. And on really rough days even staying in the same place is a challenge. No - well then you are lucky and can move on to some else like perhaps learning to knit.

For the rest of you, you are not alone. Whether it is juggling the kids' extracurricular schedules to maximize the residual time available, what there is of it, to get homework done, have some down time and plan for the next day, it is not surprising we all feel a little crazed at times. But what I find really interesting is how people manage or deal with the onslaught we call Life. For some it just buries them deeper and deeper into a quagmire that shows no sign of abating. For others, like myself, the more there is to do, the more efficient I get - yep, I am not great with "down time". My mother often marvels (and I assume with positive intent) that she doesn't know how I "do it". Not sure what "it" is, life perhaps, but what other choice do I have. And really, there are tons of people out there who do "it" a hell of a lot better and with more of "it" than I. But it is not a competition (although some, with their almost bragging about their insane schedules, would not necessarily agree).

So to those of you who feel your lot is way worse than anyone else's, don't be afraid to ask for help. And remember, the time you spend complaining/bragging about how much you have to do is time that could have been put towards crossing something of your "it" list. For the rest of us, we will keep trekking along, relishing in the fact that our sons and daughters are not loving what they are learning - be is soccer, hockey, piano, swmming, .... - and it means so much to them that we are there cheering them on.

Remember : Kids don't need 14 activities to be well rounded, what is most important is time with us, their parents and families. And just because you wanted to be a prima ballerina or a superstar hockey player, doesn't mean they do - and if they turn out to be just that - it is they who are the star, not you. :)